Down memory lane

This is just a quick post tonight because I’m busy packing to head to South Carolina tomorrow morning.  Wahooooo!!!!!

Today is a very special day but also a very emotional day for me.  It is my oldest son, Bryan’s 20th birthday.  It is also the first time in those 20 years that I will not see him on his birthday because he is away at college, and that makes me very sad.  Here is an old scanned picture of my baby and I many years ago, and underneath is the message I wrote to him on Facebook this morning with tears running down my face.  Mike and Daniel were making fun of me of course, but I couldn’t help it.  My babies mean the world to me!!

Baby Bryan

“On a very snowy day 20 years ago, one of the most amazing events in my life occurred. My little peanut was born and captured my heart forever. You were 3 1/2 weeks early and cute as a button, and I couldn’t get enough of watching you every moment and wondering over your tiny fingers and toes. There is nothing like a mother’s love for her baby. Then you got sick, and I thought my heart would break because you were so tiny and helpless, but you fought hard and three weeks later you would never have known that anything had been wrong. You have brought incredible joy to my life, and I am so proud of the wonderful man you have become. I must admit this is a very hard day for me because it’s the first time in 20 years that I haven’t seen you on your birthday, but I know that Cayley will make your day really special. Happy 20th Birthday little peanut. I love you with all my heart :).”

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22 Responses to Down memory lane

  1. krikitarts says:

    Thanks for this, Cindy. Anything that awakens the urge to bring family closer is always welcome!

  2. Bless, you have brought tears to my eyes now and I’m only 3 and a bit years into parenthood, my little bug was very sick very young and he’ll always be a little bit more special because of how much that scared me.

    • That is true, isn’t it? I love both of my boys equally, but I do have a special spot in my heart reserved for Bryan because of what he went through. He was hypoglycemic (very low blood sugar for some unknown reason) when he was born, and it got so low that he had a seizure, which we found out later caused a scar on his brain. As a result, he is epileptic, but fortunately it is controlled by medication and does not affect his daily life at all. I will never forget the nurse coming into my hospital room so many years ago to tell me that they had taken him to the nursery and hooked him up to machines. When I saw him in the incubator with all of those wires and tubes coming out of every part of his body, it nearly broke my heart. After a couple of days, one of the nurses took pity on me because I hadn’t been able to hold him, and she put a rocking chair beside the incubator and wrapped him up in blankets to protect the tubes and wires so that I could hold him. It was a wonderful moment!! So, his birthdays do tend to make me emotional. Thanks for understanding, and I hope that your little bug is well now :).

      • I too love both my boys equally and am lucky that the younger one, The Bug, is fine now, he had an unspecified infection when he was about 3 weeks old that hospitalised him for 10 days and forced us to wean him off mama’s milk much earlier than we would have liked. He’s a total bruiser now though, much much tougher than his sweet, angelic, sensitive older brother. Two more different boys you could not imagine, despite how alike they are in so many ways. I am so lucky to be spending so much time with them now no matter how tiring and frustrating they can be, they are my life my soul and my excuse for being prematurely going grey. 😉

      • Isn’t that funny!! My older son is the quiet and totally sensitive one, while my younger son is the “who gives a shit”, really loud type. When they were babies, you could put Bryan down on the floor and come back 10 minutes later to still find him in the same spot, while Daniel would be gone in 5 seconds LOL!! Bryan is 6’4″ but skinny as a rail at 160 pounds, while Daniel is 6’2″ and is 225 pounds and built like a brick shithouse. I totally understand what you are saying – in some ways mine are totally different, but they also have a lot in common, and they are both amazing kids!! I’m so glad to hear that The Bug had no lasting effects :).

  3. Colline says:

    This is a time that I do not really look forward too. In the meantime I will enjoy my children living at home with me 🙂

    • Yes, most definitely, enjoy every single moment!! There are pros and cons to every stage, that’s for sure, and now I consider my boys like friends which is really awesome, but I do miss when they were little and I was their whole world, and they promised to live with me forever :). At least I still have Daniel at home for a couple more years!

  4. Aw – I know how you feel with your son not under your roof and being able to celebrate–but you are being very brave — you were a cutey patootie twenty years ago! Have fun on your trip!

    • Thank you my friend :). Too bad I don’t look quite like that anymore LOL! By the way, I just read your comment to my hubby, and his response was, “Haha, if she thinks you were cute then, she should see me now. I’m like a fine wine. The older I get, the better I get. I’m hot!” LMAO!! Do you see what I have to put up with? 🙂

  5. sayvan says:


  6. dorannrule says:

    What a beautiful mother/son photo and what a beautiful girl you were. Hope you can figure out how to swing by Lexington, VA coming or going on your SC trip! 🙂 Wouldn’t it be fun to meet?

    • Aww, thank you Dor! It would be awesome to meet you, and we were thinking about maybe taking a detour on the way home :). I wrote you a message on your blog from today, but now when I checked your blog, it didn’t show up. I’m not sure why. Anyway, my email address is If you want, can you email me your phone number, and then we could touch base with you when we leave South Carolina. We will probably be heading back home on Friday, March 15th

  7. benzeknees says:

    I feel bad for you having to miss your son’s birthday – I can tell you are really broken up about it. I have missed kids birthdays since my daughter was 16 when we moved to NW Ont & she moved in with her father because there was no school for her where we moved. It does get easier as the years go by, especially when they have good partners to celebrate with.

  8. beckyday6 says:

    Nawwwww! I hope he had a good birthday, and I hope you have lots of fun in South Carolina. 🙂

  9. megtraveling says:

    What a sweet picture! The time goes by so fast…

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